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Monday, March 24, 2014

The Mentalist "White As Driven Snow" Review

The Mentalist in a nutshell: It's an ILLUSION (read:Visual Lies) that driven snow is white. It's mush.

 Dr. Linus Wagner: Everything you told me, Mr. Jane, is total fiction, isn't it?

Jane:  From the INCEPTION



 

In an attempt to push the envelope of suspension of disbelief, *See B.S.*  The Mentalist writers really outdid themselves in "Driven Snow" in the "Least Likely to be a Criminal Mastermind" category.  It was bad enough they believed the TM audience would believe TM aka "Thomas McAlluster" was Red John, but believing Richard Haibach was the criminal mastermind who was killing our Mentalist Snoopy gang?   Good Grief.

Dr. Linus Wagner: Everything you told me, Mr. Jane, is total fiction, isn't it?

A little intervention is in order before the show goes off the air:

Dear Mentalist writers,

We've been a good sport, Charlie Brown, these past six years watching court jester Patrick Jane make fools of the CBI and the FBI, but it's obvious the joke was on US.  Are we all P-nuts?  "Driven Snow" made mush out of any logic left in the show. Item: How does the FBI wiley tech-geek Wiley find lookalike-Kathy Bates Hazel Haibach's "Misery" cabin in the woods with a domestic satellite recon program that was abolished in 2009?  Item: Rigsby survives a handgun shot to the chest AND a shotgun blast that is enough to kill Haibach. Item: Talk about driven snow, Jane and Rigsby drive Haibach from Austin, Texas to Sante Fe - that's ten hours through nowhere - and the FBI helicopter makes it in one hour?  Item:  Haibach's sister really carried Grace Van Pelt down twenty steps at the hotel and then down a ladder to her basement hideaway? Item: Mastermind Haibach falls for the ol' empty gun-reveal the hideout trick. That's as likely as blaming Haibach's drunken father for his bad behavior.  I was hoping Rigsby would set fire to Haibach and put The Mentalist out of it's Misery in a blaze of gory.  Pay attention, people, I'm not the only Scott Naysayer that says...
  
This BLUE BIRD  is All an ILLUSION 

 

Scrambled eggs:Jane appears to be a Sherlock Holmes super-sleuth character, but in reality is a mental patient with a cracked eggshell who suffers from paranoid delusions due to feelings of extreme guilt in the deaths of his wife and child who were burned as he was (CBI = intensive burn care?)  in a horrific car accident involving a driver named Tanner when he failed to stop at a BLINKING RED LIGHT CROSSING AN INTERSECTION, hence the RJ symbol, while he was driving intoxicated  and spends his days with the remote watching TV shows, which generate his ideas for the delusional episodes. Note: Jane's eggshell blue car - a vintage 1972 Citroen DS 20 that Warner Bros., producer of "The Mentalist" for CBS, had in its inventory. It was used in the 2008 movie "Speed Racer." For "The Mentalist," the car was shipped from Germany and painted eggshell blue (it was originally red).



Burning Clues: "The Mentalist" is obsessed with fire, as in half the episodes it plays a significant plot point. Items:  Jane burns his Red John files with a bottle of booze. Out of the Frye-ing pan into the... As Kristina Frye discovered, when you get too close to Red John, you get burned.  "Tiger, Tiger burning bright, they were "Au-burned."  In the "Red Mile" episode Jane arrives at a crime scene outside Auburn, California.  Shouts from Alabama football fans of "Roll Tide" first appeared during the Alabama-Auburn Tiger IRON BOWL game in 1907. Note the Auburn football game was playing on the bedroom TV in "Desert Rose. "Curiously, a corpse was found in a burned car in "Ruby Slippers," in which Jane discovers the identity of Fifi Nix, like Jane's Phoenix, has risen from the ashes of his past life.  In "Red Dawn" Jane is given a desk next to a fire extinguisher that is there, then it's gone, then it's there again.   Fake Red John read all about it - catch the fire-y headline on the front page of the newspaper Tim Carter was reading before Jane shot him.  Red John appeared to Jane in the burn mask.  Jane: It's not my fire.

THE WILD WESTPHALL WORLD is OVER THE RAINBOW

 

Red John is Patrick Jane's imaginary evil twin, his "perfect symmetry" alter-ego (Jane/John)Professor Moriarty character in a Tommy Westphall" imaginary world like "St. Elsewhere's" snow globe and "Life on Mars" that is the dream state of Jane.  (NB. The fake Jane character in "Red Moon" where a corpse was found in a burned car was named Ellis Mars (El - He is Mars.) Ellis Mars: The mind is a powerful weapon. It can create reality. Mr. Nguyen was LOST (also in the Westphall Universe) but was found in "Green Thumb."

Jane: Perhaps we can see each other again.
Lorelei: That’s not up to me.
Jane: Oh, you have no say in it?
Lorelei: None at all. It’s very "Westphall."
Jane: I don’t follow you.
Lorelei: I do what Red John tells me to do.
 
 
                         Red Face to Face

 The Mentalist logo.svg

Mentalist in a Box

The Man with Two Names -- Red John's alias is ROY Tagliaferro (read: "cut iron").   The ROY CUT IRON  anagrams are "court irony" and "you r citron."  How ironic that Jane, the court jester who arrives at the crime scene in his Citroen,  a master reader of how others' emotions control them and the need to let go of the past,  was a prisoner of his IRON-ic chains to the past.  Until Jane leaves his OLD LIFE BEHIND, The Mentalist is on the mental list, a prisoner of his own device.

ROY G BIV - Green, Violet, Blue and the other colors of the Rainbow

 "Over The Rainbow"

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high there's a land I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow why oh why can't I?


 "The DESERT ROSE"

Perhaps Bruno referred to a song that Sting made famous.  The lyrics will burn in your imagination and perhaps provide a clue about Patrick Jane's:

I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire

This desert rose
Each of her seven veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

And as she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems.

                                                 


Jane:  Lisbuns, you are as pure as the driven snow...from Austin to Sante Fe.
  
 Read John "Seven" Come 11:  my mental list of  7 scripts so you can dream along with me 

 "DRAGON STAR  (2014)   Logline:  Code-cracker tracks a serial killer who returns after seven years to terrorize his hometown. Tagline: You can go Holmes again.  DRAGON_STAR_-_Final[1]

MIDNIGHT RIDE”   Logline: Garage band cruises a small Pennsylvania town on a stormy night that changes the course of rock music.  Tagline: “She loves you and you and you, yeah, yeah, yeah”

"DIVE"   Logline: An American naval officer is forced to pilot a Colombian cartel submarine loaded with cocaine into San Diego harbor. But there's something else on board.  Tagline:  Sub-text: Hidden between the white lines.

"COLUMBIA ROADS"    Logline:  US embassy investigator discovers Aurora prophecy that threatens  the US.    Tagline: All Roads lead to Columbia.  Download -COLUMBIA ROADS-

 “FACESPACE    Logline:  CIA Deep Throat recruits a conspiracy writer to stop a mind control op using social networks.    Tagline: Who is like FACESPACE and who can defeat it?  Download FACESPACE 7-21

"SPYDER AND THE FLY"     Logline: A black op team gets caught in its web of deceit.   Tagline:  "Come into my parlor said the Spyder to the Fly, but who was the Spyder and Who was the Fly?"

 "THE 11 O'CLOCK NEWS"   Logline: Two bloggers, Richie Scalia and John Scott,  get in way-over-their-head trouble.  Tagline:  Hindsight is 2021


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